About Internal Family Systems (IFS)

What Is Somatic Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy?

IFS stands for Internal Family Systems, which is a form of psychotherapy developed by Richard C. Schwartz in the 1980s. It is based on the idea that the mind is made up of multiple "parts" or subpersonalities, each with its own perspective, feelings, and motivations.

We all have different aspects or “parts” of our personalities, even if we don’t always pay attention to them. For example, you might find yourself thinking, “Part of me wants to look for a new job, but another part thinks it’s the worst possible time to do so,” or “Part of me thinks this relationship won’t work, but part of me knows we still have a chance to make it better.”

These different parts of our personalities are natural, yet we often ignore them even though they significantly influence our internal dialogues and life experiences. When our desires align, we don't experience much internal conflict. But when different parts of ourselves have conflicting needs, we can feel stuck, confused, or overwhelmed, leading to anxiety, stress, depression, and relationship difficulties.

Additionally, we often resist or deny unpleasant feelings and aspects of our personalities, opting instead to numb ourselves with food, alcohol, drugs, shopping, the internet, work, or relationships. While these are natural human responses to pain, they ultimately leave us feeling empty and disconnected from ourselves and others.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is designed to help you navigate your internal world, understand and unburden the parts of you that don't trust your Self-leadership, and develop a healthier relationship with anxiety, stress, fear, and self-doubt. This allows you to live a more authentic life aligned with your values and goals.

How Does Internal Family Systems help you?

IFS uses a family systems model to understand, heal, and unburden the various parts of our personalities, enhancing our access to our true Self. Each part of our personality has a positive intent, trying to help us in its own way, even if its methods are counterproductive or dysfunctional.

As a trained IFS Therapist, my goal is to help you engage in a dialogue with each of your parts, healing wounded aspects of your personality and restoring balance to your life. IFS is an experiential therapy where you actively listen to and interact with your different parts, leading to powerful and dynamic changes.

Typically, our work together begins by connecting you with your true, core Self and identifying the parts of you that block access to it. We then explore the roles of your “Protector” parts—those that determine how you interact with the world and work to save the wounded “Exile” parts from further pain. With the Protectors' permission, you'll then connect with the Exile parts of your personality to heal and unburden them, allowing the Protectors to adopt healthier, more balanced roles.

The Key Concepts

  1. Parts
    • Exiles: Parts that are often wounded or carry burdens from past trauma or negative experiences. They are usually hidden or suppressed because their feelings (e.g., pain, shame) are too intense.
    • Managers: Parts that try to control and protect the person from feeling the pain of the Exiles. They are proactive and work to prevent triggering the Exiles.
    • Firefighters: Parts that react when Exiles are triggered. They try to distract from or numb the pain quickly, often through impulsive or destructive behaviors.
  2. Self
    • The core, compassionate, and undamaged essence of a person. The Self is characterized by qualities such as curiosity, calmness, clarity, compassion, confidence, creativity, courage, and connectedness (the 8 C's).

How IFS therapy Works

  1. Identify and Get to Know Parts: The therapist helps the client identify and understand the different parts within them. Clients learn to recognize and differentiate these parts from their core Self.
  2. Develop a Relationship with Parts: The client, guided by the therapist, forms a compassionate relationship with each part. This involves understanding the part’s role, history, and the burdens it carries.
  3. Unburdening Parts: Through the therapeutic process, parts are helped to release their burdens. This might involve processing past traumas or negative experiences that have affected the parts.
  4. Restoring Balance: As parts are unburdened, the goal is to restore balance and harmony within the internal system. The Self takes a leadership role, guided by compassion and wisdom, ensuring all parts are respected and valued.

The Benefits of IFS:

  • Promotes emotional healing and self-compassion.
  • Helps in understanding and resolving internal conflicts.
  • Facilitates deeper self-awareness and personal growth.
  • Useful for a wide range of issues, including trauma, anxiety, depression, and relationship difficulties.

IFS emphasizes that all parts have good intentions and can be transformed to support the person's well-being when understood and addressed compassionately.

Is IFS Therapy Right for You?

While IFS treatment takes time and isn't suitable for everyone, it offers a powerful way to understand and value your feelings, compassionately connect with different parts of your personality, and access your true Self. As a trained IFS Therapist, I've found that IFS can effectively help you heal from anxiety, depression, anger, shame, grief, guilt, OCD, ADHD, and fear. It can also help you tap into your true Self's strength and resilience, deepen your self-awareness, and clarify your desires, enabling you to create fulfilling relationships and a life you truly desire.